So Iāve been thinking of where I left off in my last postāsetting an intention that my writing is a form of expression and connection. This is me doing something I enjoy, learning and sharing my thought explorations.
Today Iām sharing some reflections on discipline as pleasure, integrating intentions and finding meaningful projects.
If youāve been subscribed here for a while, you might remember that Iāve written about my experience with burnout. On the path to healing from that state, doing the work to identify what sparks joy in me has been a worthwhile project in itself.
In doing the things you want to do, I shared some of that process of moving towards those things that might reconnect me to myself. It became a form of meditation to know myself better and reconnect with parts of myself that had been latent. A good outcome of this process is that itās allowed me to reconnect with the value and the impact of self-directed work or meaningful projects.
While reflecting on the space Iāve allowed in my life for healing through creative projects, I realized that I was again experiencing the pleasures of discipline. It has reminded me of deep intrinsic motivation, that even in the face of friction I am still able to show up for myself. I overcome the friction to make space for something that feels energizing and meaningful. Agency is important, and discipline feels easier whenĀ the pleasure is in the process.
I feel like discipline isnāt usually associated with pleasure, but Iāve started to see it differently lately, especially resonating with how Yumi Sakugawa describes it in much of her work:
āæDISCIPLINE is the pleasure of intentionally leaning into proactive action that celebrates your highest potential and deepest joy.
āæDISCIPLINE is the pleasure of trusting and stepping into your authority and autonomy so that you spend time and live life experience pleasure exactly on your own terms.
āæDISCIPLINE is the pleasure of the ongoing forward momentum of manifesting your greatest creative desires that makes life thrilling, electric, adventurous.
Her definition of discipline is a point of reference when I talk about discipline as pleasure here. Another word for discipline here is action. Building intuition for work also comes from this consistent intentional action and practice.
I also started thinking of the meaning of embodiment while writing this. I realised that what I had been doing is a form of embodiment. Embodiment feels easier to access when I consistently take actions that are aligned with self, my desires, my dreams and who I want to be.
I think the act of building a practice is also building trust with the self. Itās getting comfortable defining and negotiating the necessary boundaries with self first and then with others.
To build a practice, I need deliberate structure and conditions that make it easier to stick to my intended way of being, I like to ask āHow can I make this easier for myself?ā I also think of how this is good for my present self, myself in a week and even in a year. But something Iāve also been learning on this path to healing is that itās not necessarily about concrete past > present > future states of self because we are always in flux, and we arenāt that linear. I think itās more about simply being as true to self as we can be at any point in time. Those intentional shifts and awareness build up over time, and it gets easier to feel integrated with what feels truer.
Iām grateful that committing to myself through a practice has been reconnecting me with a resonant sense of discipline, the joys and the necessity of self-directed work.
Thanks for reading, and thanks for being here šš¾ š As always, feel free to share or comment on whatever resonates.
This is so true, Funmi! And such an important reframing from our usual approach to discipline: something we think of as rather painful, hard and restrictive. Yet as we look at discipline through a different lens, we realise discipline can be playful and joyous, an act of self care and wellbeing that keeps us grounded.
All it takes is intention and, as you mentioned, intrinsic motivation.